Back On Track

I cannot get fancy with words, nor am I good at writing philosophical stuff that can get me classified as an A-list blogger. I am not very patient with exploring my writing skills, clearly explained by the long spells of absence from my very own blog. Nor I have the will to update my blog daily. But I so much enjoy the thrill of penning down sporadic epiphanies that occur to me from time to time. And just to know you have a place to turn to is really assuring.

Today I went to the gym after almost… hmm… I dont even remember how many days. Life had been too busy past couple of weeks and weekends were just as crazy. To start with my brother came to visit me for a weekend in Aug and then we went on a 3 day hiking trip over the labor day weekend and then the week after that one of my cousin from came from India. She is doing her masters in a university in South California and I insisted she come to my place first to stay with me before her school starts. So that weekend was spent sight seeing around the bay area and the week after that we drove to South California to drop her at her university. It didnt stop there. Our college friends who have been dating for like ever now decided to get married the next weekend, again in South California and so it was another 13 hr drive weekend. Oh! and BTW we had been to Channel Islands (again in South California) over the long weekend. So we had like 5 back to back weekends packed with minimum of 12-13 hrs of driving on each.

As much as a weekend full of interesting activities is desirable to de-stress you from your stressful workweek, it also adds a stress of its own and you end up trying to relieve yourself of the accumulated weekend fatigue and disrupt your otherwise normal workweek.

To begin with, your excercise routine goes for a toss since you are tired from all the driving etc and then in evenings you struggle with doing your laundry and other routine household activities like cleaning, arranging etc while simultaneously cooking dinner at home coz the extra junk you managed to push down your throat over the weekend starts showing on the scale by now. And then you realise that your recently reinstated home cooking regime needs to be supported with important items in your pantry and thats when the failure of planning a grocery list hits you and you find yourself making several trips to the grocery store to restore some of the basic items in your kitchen. Come another crazy weekend and before you realise you are in a vicious cycle and you start craving for that relaxing-do-nothing-but-chill-out-at-home type weekend. Thankfully I got mine and I am glad to find myself back on track finally.

Today while running on the treadmill I realised that as much as we crave stability in life, a montonous uninterrupted routine life can really make you dull. Imagine having to get up daily at the same time, go to gym, go to work, come back, cook dinner, cleanup and go to bed just to wake up the next day and start the same cycle again. Would you call this stable or boring? In reality no matter how much we hate our routine disturbed, life always finds ways to ensure we dont wear ourselves out in our propensity to stay on track. And as much as I feel these changes in your life are required, nothing feels better than being back on track after a long bout of craziness.

This $#!t Really Works

I have always believed in working with utmost sincerity and expected the same from others. If people seek some information from me i have no problem giving it away as long at it is okay to divulge the details. But apparently never works the same way when I am at the asking end. People are so hesitant to share any knowledge about their projects. As if that is all they know and i am some hungry job predator ready to pounce on theirs. I feel so sorry for such insecure people. I also don’t understand why people don’t give importance to proper documentation. Why don’t managers enforce it on their teams to ensure things are properly documented. I have seen people document stuff just for the sake of filling up some pages with some blabber. Either they don’t do it at all or put up some shoddy pieces of crap. You don’t need a phd in literature to document technical details, just put down what you have really done and implemented. That’s all it takes.

I started a on a new project which involves getting data from other systems. So I had to setup several meeting with this person who was the expert on that system. I initially found her very reluctant and had to ask the same questions in multiple ways and at different times in the hopes that she might have forgotten that she had answered “I am not sure of this one” the last time. But she was smart and tough to crack. I also tried formally initiating an email with the list of questions I had. Thought that would compel her to research if she doesn’t remember and reply with a definite answer. But that didn’t do it either. She was too smart to fall for these tricks. She insisted we meet to discuss that stuff and it was the same story again. Rolling eyes over, making faces as if to indicate she was applying so much pressure to her paltry brain, trying to remember but in vain and finally coming up with a “I dont think that information will be useful for you” response. When every straightforward attempt failed I decided to work more on my soft skills.

Surprisingly building relationships through small talks is the way to go. Indulging in irrelevant chitchat at work had never been my forte. I simply cannot indulge in unnecessary corridor discussions and a hee-hee-hoo-hoo with people i don’t find worthy talking to. Never been a fan of that, but decided to give it a shot.

There is a saying in marathi “adla hari gadhvache pay dhari”. Literally meaning when in need Lord Vishnu had to make even a donkey his master. No offense to the donkeys but basically it means when you are in need be prepared to kiss some a$$. Where every other legitimate effort fails flattery works. Several casual hi hellos and some inquiries about her and her kids later I noticed that information started flowing out like someone left a tap open. Offcourse each meeting also had to end with me appreciating how helpful she was and how sorry I was to trouble her with so many questions (implying how dumb of me to not be able to figure out these details myself) and all this said in the most dramatic way. Gosh how I hate doing this. Not that she was not helping me now and I am not thankful. I really am grateful that she is taking time out to discuss things with me. But I would have appreciated it genuinely had she not been so difficult initially. The over stressing and being extra polite and adding all the pleonastic details to every word of appreciation that come out of your mouth makes me feel so fake. When people do it to me it feels like torture. Even if I don’t intend to be rude to their face, my body/face sends uncontrolled signals that these tactics are not appreciated. No need to put up this farce in from of me.I will work irrespective if that. But thanks to these tormentors, I feel like i have now mastered an art have hated all this while and still do. Just that after realizing the definite results to be reaped i don’t mind using it when everything else has failed.

A Surreal Experience

I had my very first blogger meeting last week. And that too with a blogger whom i have been reading for years (much before I started blogging myself) and admiring for the variety of topics she covers and the amazing enthusiasm and efforts she puts in to concoct each wonderful post of hers. Her remarkable zeal is evident from the fact that she wrote about our meeting the very same day while on a vacation here in US and it took me week to come up with a decent enough post. In fact I contemplated not writing anything coz she has written so beautifully that it is difficult to match up to her level. But then blogging is not about matching up to someone, it is about documenting your own experiences to stay with you always. Plus this blog needed an update and a new header, hence the header. It is from my Niagara trip 2 month back not related to the meeting but just thought it is time to make some change on the blog, too lazy to play with the color schemes etc so content with changing the header for now.

Oops too much of diversion, back to the topic of the post.

So I had found through some comments exchanged with her that she has family in the area where I live and i expressed my wish to meet her someday if she travels this way. Little did i know my wish would come true so soon as she had to travel for a wedding in her family. I had read other bloggers write about their meetings and wondered how would it be to meet someone whom you only know through their thoughts. Never done anything like that before in life. But eight months into blogging and i had already planned a blogger meet.

As the day of the meeting came closer i grew more and more anxious of the meeting. I was glad to find her as spirited as I was and all the initial apprehension i had about how will she be, what things to discuss etc etc vanished instantaneously. She invited me to meet her folks and they were as welcoming as she is on her blog. She had brought some thoughtful gifts for me. A beautifully designed ethnic pouch for keeping cell phone and a delectable raw mango drink mostly made in Maharashtra. The surprising fact was the drink was made from apple sauce and i am still amazed how can apple taste like mango.

We had so much to discuss and so much of catching up on each others lives that time seemed like running out too soon. We started talking right from when she got into my car, through our dinner, on our way back to her house and even at the entrance of her house as I got out to say goodbye. Our topics flowed so spontaneously and soon we were talking away nineteen to the dozen and before i knew, it was already time for her to go. So much still to left know about this person I respect for all the courage and boldness she shows in everything she does, her thoughts with which I cannot agree more, and her willingness to share her experience with others.

It is good to be able to put a face to a name and I am glad and thankful for this wonderful surreal experience of meeting her in person.

Braving the Perils of Dentistry

As I sat on the dentist’s chair while he cleaned my teeth I wondered, how amazing are the perks of the dental insurance that I have, or rather the perks of working for a company which provides a decent dental insurance, that for approximately 6 dollars a month, which adds to 36 dollars for six months, you can get your teeth cleaned by a dentist who is a DDS (Doctor of Dental Surgery) and flossing and brushing done by his assistant.

But what amazed me was not just the fact that my teeth were cleaned by a person who must have paid boat loads of money to reach where he is now, (off course he also performs other complicated procedures too which require lot of skills) but also this whole concept of dental insurance and the 2 office visits per year that are covered with it. I wish we had this concept of dental insurance in India. At least I would have taken better care and wouldn’t have to go through 3 root canals, two crowns, and a wisdom tooth extraction and practically have every tooth filled with silver before I turned 30.

I have very bad teeth. Even though I brush twice daily I have tooth decay in almost every tooth. I don’t understand what should I attribute this to? Is it neglect or lack of calcium or my fear of needles?

Yes I have a tremendous fear of needles that poke in the softest parts of your body and visits to dental clinic have only increased it. When I was a kid I would bear the tooth ache and not tell anyone lest I would be made to have yet another visit to the place I dreaded the most. Dentist visits were never happy for me and every time I decide to see one I would feel the same trepidation grip me.

I was may be 7 or 8 years old and had to get one decaying tooth extracted. Since it was paining very badly and I couldn’t bear it any more I realized that getting it yanked out was the most correct thing to do. I agreed to go with my father to visit this new dentist who had just recently moved into our area where we lived. The dentist though fully alerted by my dad about my aversion to the dreadful thing in his hand, decided to venture alone and guess what I bit his finger while he was injecting the local anesthesia. And I think I bit him so hard that my father had to hold me down while he attempted his second. This time I wriggled so fast that I somehow managed to break his needle itself. My father had had it by now. He went out of the clinic and called out for some random guys standing near the corner of the road to come and help. I don’t actually remember any of this but it was described so many times to me that I can almost imagine how it must have happened and every time I visited a dentist the only thing I would prayed for was that the injecting ceremony gets over quickly and painlessly. Though with age I learnt to better control myself and not bite fingers of people who are actually trying to help you, but the basic trauma of something poking me still remained. Maybe that’s how I could survive through the 3 root canals that followed.

The dental sciences have advanced tremendously and the root canal I had last year in US did not pain at all. It was also quick, took just about 30 minutes compared to the many sittings one had to go through 10-15 years ago. Back then the dentist would keep on screwing a needle into a cavity that he has made in your tooth and remove all traces of your root that connected to the nerve. A friend of mine once told me that he had to be rushed to emergency the previous night for a tooth ache and the doctors there recommended a root canal to save his tooth. I described the root canal process in so much detail to him that the next day he got his tooth extracted. Na rahega baans na bajegi baansri.

Even the X ray machines have improved. Earlier the dentist would make you hold a small piece of plastic against your teeth while he took the X ray and later got it developed or washed or whatever they have to do at some other place. Now we directly see the X Ray image directly on his computer the moment it is taken. And some of them even have the more advanced OPG machines where you just have to stand and the imaging machine revolves around you to take the X ray of entire dentition and jaws.

The biggest improvement of all is the suction pipe. It sucks out all the water, saliva, blood and other fluids that fall into your mouth as a part of the treatment while the doctor works on your teeth undisturbed. Though I was a bit skeptical on this one coz I didn’t know for a long time if they actually washed, changed or sterilized the suction pipe that goes in your mouth. They should be disposing it for sure, but I had never seen them do so in front of my eyes and hence the doubt. Also felt foolish to ask the dentist. Finally mustered up some courage to ask my cousin brother who just recently set up his own clinic and he confirmed that they do change it.

I had my regular teeth cleaning appointment few months (actually a whole 6 months) back and had started writing this post then but life caught up and this post was left half way in the drafts. I was reminded of this post when I saw a reminder for my next teeth cleaning appointment in the mail last week and thought of reviving the most traumatic memories of some of my dentist visits. But when I look back now at all my encounters and hearing more horrible stories from other people who either had to undergo surgery to get some tooth extracted or had to get implants, I feel maybe mine were not that appalling after all. Baring a few exceptions in the front set, the rest of them are in a pretty good condition now, after the fillings offcourse. And I hope my final surviving set of 31 stays healthy hereafter.

Weird People

In the past few weeks I had few encounters with really weird people doing some really weird stuff and wondered, where do they make such specimens:

1. The guy in my office who comes daily to talk to the lady sitting in my aisle. He keeps walking in and out of her cube while talking to her, kinda restlessly and is very annoying until one day when he actually decided to calm down and sat on the desk, only to bring it down with a big thud. What a funny sight it was that day when we all ran to see what happened and found these 2 desperately trying to hold on to the laptop and other other things that were sliding.

2. The lady from previous example who is checking out some bikinis online unaware of the same guy from previous example walking into her cube and instead of pressing alt tab continues to ask his opinion on those. It was horrible listening to those 2 talking about what will suit her and what should be the max age to flaunt one’s body in a bikini. uughhh!!!

3. Some people from my work who keep harassing a sick intern with their snide remarks about how he passed on his cold to them instead of taking step to improve their their own immunity. I sit right next to that sick guy and nothing happened to me yet.

4. My neighbor, who parks his car next to mine. When we asked him if he could please move his car and park somewhere else for few minutes coz we had to jump start ours, he made a weird face. As if to say we are causing him much discomfort. Have they stopped making friendly neighbors anymore??

5. Two engineering graduates who hold a degree in Electronics and passed in first class but still freaked out over jump starting a car battery. Its not a rocket science rt? I mean how difficult it is to just stay calm and follow the step by step instructions?

Okay the last one was me and hubby, but in our defense, it was our first time

Edited to add: When Hubby dear read this he insisted that i should mention he passed with distinction. And that just made things more weird.

My First Camping Experience

Me and Hubby dear went camping last weekend. And boy what an adventure it was. This was our first time and I still cant believe we did it coz the planning, reservation and gathering the camping equipments all happened in just 4 days. The actual plan was to go on the weekend of 25th July with a bigger group but 2 friends (another husband and wife) were not able to make it so just the 4 of us decided to do it last weekend itself.
The adventure began with searching for a camp site to reserve and we were in for a big disappointment when we found none that we wanted to go to were available. After contemplating between reserving a KOA campground that was available in the middle of nowhere and state managed campground in a park unheard of and gazillion phone calls (between us and the friends) later we finally reserved a site in a State Park around 1.5 hrs from home. Then started the frantic shopping spree for collecting all camping equipments. We were shopping till the day of camping and in fact some items we picked up on our way.
We decided to make a quick stop for lunch since we would be reaching the campsite way past our lunch time. But little did we know that the quick was about to become long. I forgot my cell phone in the restaurant and we realized this when we were already on a bridge where the next exit was after 8 miles I was even okay to leave it there and pick it up on our way back the next day but the guy who found my phone wasn’t too pleased about it so we had to head back to get it. We had to travel that bridge for the third time in one hour and I was so sick of it that I swore never to take that route ever.
Later the GPS we were using screwed us even more. Somewhere between his “Keep Rights” and “Keep lefts” we missed an exit and the “Route Recalculation” landed us in a traffic jam.
Obviously we were late. Much late than the 2 PM check in time. And the worst part was the site was at a 5-8 min walking distance from the parking lot. Now that doesn’t sound far right? But add to that the 30 lb tent, 20 lb cooler box, 4 camping chairs, our luggage and other camping equipment we were carrying, along with the scorching heat of the sun who was busy tanning every exposed bit of my skin that he could lay his evil eyes on.
We laid all our stuff on the table and started setting up the tent. Almost everyone else on the nearby sites were already camping there since Friday. The campers next to us had about 5-6 kids of age between 3-4 with them and i thought they were quiet intrigued looking at us shouting “u hold this” and ” u hold that” and “come this side will u now” and “hey something is not right here”. We were all elated once we managed to get the tent up, kind of like a mini achievement.
Once the tent was up we made some coffee on the propane stove that we were carrying and sat back relaxing as the day cooled off into evening. The camp site had coin operated showers and I was so glad we carried a pouch of 25 cents coins in our car. By the time we showered and were feeling fresh again, it was time for dinner since it had started to get dark.
After dinner it was campfire time. The park had provided fire rings for each campsite and wood was available for purchase. We lit the fire and sat around it talking and taking pictures. Everything was going very well till we heard someone walking behind our tent. The people who were camped next to us used the pathway in the front of our tent to go to the restrooms etc and we felt suspicious about who could be walking there in the dark. Moreover there was a small hill/slope behind our tent. So we flashed lights in the direction of the sound and found a raccoon who had walked up close enough that it scared the shit out of us. Though we were aware of the raccoons found in this park and well educated by the park ranger on how to protect your food from them at night, we didn’t actually think we would come face to face with one. Moreover none of us had seen this animal before in the wild and were least aware of its capabilities other than stealing our food at night. After all its an animal who knows what it might do. But flashing the lights in its face was enough to scare him away. We quickly wrapped up everything and took our stuff inside our tent. Kept all our food in the lockers provided and placed the cooler under the table and kept 6-7 heavy stones on it as instructed by the ranger. Then we quickly made turns to the restroom, in pairs off course, still shuddering by the thought that we could have been attacked by that raccoon had we not seen him in time. Inside the tent we played a board game brought by our friends, don’t remember its name, but it is similar to monopoly. In between I was still getting up to check if the raccoon had come back for our food. Wanted to get a picture of him in action. Later we thought that we should have deliberately left some food on the table so that we could get a better shot of the raccoon “that almost attacked us” safely from within our tent.

Morning in the the state park was so pleasant. It was chilly and we went for a small walk into the park. We saw a deer on the way and this time i did not miss the photo opportunity.

By the time we came back and had breakfast it was 10:30 AM and time to start dismantling. It hurts so bad to see something you worked so hard to build come down the very next day. So we have decided to camp for 2 days next time. Hopefully things workout well next month and I am able to go out on another adventure and live to tell the tale of another survival in the wild.

Oh and BTW, raccoons are not known to attack humans but it sounds cool to tell people that we ventured in the wild once and were attacked by some wild animal, so I am going to keep it that way

Falling into the same trap

again and again and again….

Why does this happen to me? That I can see clearly, the things coming but still fall into the same trap again,when
1. I decide not to wait up for friends who are known to be late and not respect your time, but I still end up waiting.
2. I decide not to make plans with those friends when time is of essence but still make plans with them.
3. I decide to leave early from work so that my predefined evening schedule falls in place but still cannot resist the temptation to reply to the last email that comes as i am about to leave.
4. I decide to sleep on time but login just one last time to check my emails (as if something really important is expected) and end up reading blogs and news for another hour till my eyes can take no more.
5. I decide to complete the unfinished post lying as a draft, but just hit save and logout for lack of words/ideas.

Sigh! At least i am out of the last one for now as i hit publish on this one. Time to start working on the next one.

The Wonderful World of Blogs

I don’t exactly remember when but I think sometime in mid of year 2006 I got hooked on to the world of blogs. I know that’s bit late than most people on my blogroll started blogging. But I didn’t have any access to the internet before that. No computer at home and the company I worked for before that had blocked access to internet.

I was randomly searching for discussion threads on forum about legal complications of not changing your name after marriage when I stumbled upon the blog of a lady who had written about her experience. Yes, ladies have been blogging about these issues ever since blogspot and wordpress gave them the tools. I don’t remember which blog was that but that was my gateway into the wonderful world of blogs that I had discovered through her blog roll.

I don’t know when I got addicted to the blogs I frequented. It became a daily routine to logon to the office laptop every morning check for important official emails, then check the news site and then check for new posts on the blogs. I never thought I would get one myself someday. I never thought I write good enough to express the exact thoughts into words, and I still don’t. But after years of contemplating I finally decided to get one. And I can’t believe myself I managed to survive for six months already.

I like reading blogs. I get to learn so much from other people’s experiences. I get to see how other people think. I get to compare that to what I think and sometimes realize how wrong I was. Or sometimes start believing more strongly in my belief. I get to see what things annoy some people and realize how some of my actions could have annoyed people around me in the past. I get to see how other people react to disagreement and learn how I can change the ways I handle confrontations in my life. I read all the polished comments and refined replies of the bloggers who have a strong command on the language. I get to improve on my choice of word I use for my daily communications.

I have noticed I have become better in handling unavoidable confrontations. I tend to remain calmer and composed than I used to be during conflicts with family, friends and coworkers. I tend to try and understand why the person is behaving the way he is in first place. Try to acknowledge that he or she has the right to have a different point of view. And it is absolutely fine for two people with difference of opinions to coexist with each other.

I have also learnt that sometimes silence is golden. It is not necessary to comment on every single thing that you disagree with as long as it is not affecting you directly. Sometimes in a conflict it is wise to let the moment pass. Some statements can be ignored if they start getting to you. It is not necessary to reply every rude remark with the same rudeness. You can win over rudeness with your polite approach.

I have learnt not to be judgmental. Off course I can’t say I totally avoid judging people but I am learning to remind myself not to. I have learnt to ignore some initial biases I had against some people and started to see them for what they are.

Overall from sharing my experiences and reading others I feel I am getting to be a better person. Who says blogging is a way to pass your time. I say it is a way of life.

All For The Best

Long time back, when I was in school, I read a story, the moral of which was everything that ever happens to you, good or bad is for the best. In the story a king cuts his finger and one of his courtiers, instead of saying something consoling to lessen his pain, says don’t worry king, its all for the best. Hearing this, the king is infuriated and sends the courtier to prison. Later that day the king goes for hunting. He travels far into the forest, gets tired and falls asleep. When he wakes up he sees a lion near him and freezes with fear. But the lion smells the dried blood on his finger and thinking he is already dead, moves on without harming him. The king immediately realizes what the courtier meant and has him released immediately.

Has anyone come across this story before? I tried searching it but couldn’t find it. Don’t even remember where I read it. And I don’t even know if lions actually act that way. Meaning not eat something they haven’t killed it or is already dead. But for some reason this concept has stayed with me ever since. Whenever I want something badly and cannot get it, I try to think what good this can lead to. “All for the best” is a general statement, and can be applied to anything good or bad but I normally tend to apply it only when things don’t go as I planned or as I wanted. Why would one try to find possible results of something going well anyways?

Now I think I have been really lucky throughout my life and didn’t have to struggle a lot, but whatever limited failures I think I faced, have always done good in the end. Every time I would get depressed, but would think may be it was not in my best interest to get it and move on. And eventually whatever I got would be much better than what I craved for or did more good than the initial thing I could have.

To start with, a very good IT company came to my college for campus recruitment and I did not make it. Hubby, who was also studying with me, got through. I felt so bad that I did not make the cut and ruined my chances of working with him in the same company. But I got through in the second IT company which came the next day and it turned out to be good. I learnt some very good tools and really liked working there.

They sent me to US on a project within 2 years of joining. Even regarding my travel to US, I was scheduled to travel much earlier but some one else in my team was sent instead. I felt so miserable. Felt like something snatched away from me. But within few months I was sent to New York City on another project and I ended up staying there more than a year. That was an excellent project, and an amazing opportunity for me to travel and stay in NY compared to some small town in US where I was scheduled to go earlier.
Hubby moved to California on a project thorough his company, instead of some city on the east coast of US. Even my company did not have any projects on the west coast. We had to stay 5 months away from each other after marriage, and life didn’t seem fair. So I finally switched my job and moved to California to live with Hubby. The move actually benefited me both technologically and financially. When I look back and think about the 5 months spent away from Hubby, cursing my company for not having any business in California, I think all the circumstances I was feeling were working against me were actually for my good. If my company had relocated me to California, I would have never thought of changing job and would have never ended up where I currently am.

Even when I fell sick, which was for the past few weeks. Terrible cold and cough that made us run to emergency. I am feeling better now. But the way Hubby Dear cared for me in those days; I would have never experienced that if I hadn’t fallen sick. His frantic run to get every home remedy that would work, getting up in the middle of night to get me some ginger and honey so that I stop coughing, cooking and doing all the dishes so that I get some rest, keeping track of the medicines I am taking, everything. Off course I was feeling bad for Hubby who had to do all this and manage his extreme busy schedule at work, but also secretly wishing I stay sick for some more time. Didn’t need this experience to find out how much Hubby cares for me, but I am glad I got to experience it.

There are plenty other situations, which force me to believe that all that happened to me was in my best interest. I don’t know what life would have been if everything had been as I wanted it to be. And I don’t want to know. Feels nice to think everything happened for the best.

All Monkey Business

I was chatting with this guy I know for some time (lets just call him Mr. Smarty) about the current economic situation and how that is affecting the IT job market. He then mentioned that there was a job opening in his team that was filled recently. It was filled by a contractor/consultant (person who is not fulltime employee) who was already working in their team. But the surprising part was the contractor submitted Mr. Smarty’s name as the person who referred him and they split the referral bonus between themselves. Impressed by the contractor’s performance, the manager of the team had made an offer to him and when the contractor accepted it he filled Mr. Smarty’s name as the employee who referred him.

I was shocked. How does this even qualify as a referral? To qualify for an employee referral bonus you should be referring someone whom you know to your manager and not someone who is already offered a job by the manager. Mr. Smarty was totally justifying the situation by saying that, the money that was assigned as a referral bonus for this position would be wasted otherwise, but at least this way both he and the contractor get to keep some of it. I tried to reason with him but he was not finding anything wrong. It may have been fine, if Mr. Smarty had referred before the manager offered the job. But I don’t know the policies of this company so don’t know if that would qualify for the bonus either. The point here is not if it was legal or illegal but feeling OK about some money earned in the wrong way.

On asking how the manager didn’t object to any of this, I realized that the manager was even bigger swindler. Sometime back there was another opening in the team. It was filled by a person referred by a contractor who left the company after referring his friend. This manager had the new employee fill an existing employee’s name as a referee so that the manager can later get the referral money from the employee. The manager had to do this because he didn’t want the money to be wasted and a contractor or the hiring manager cannot get the referral money directly as per rules.

I know these are not big crimes (or even crimes) compared to some recent scams and money launderings we have been hearing. And I don’t know whether we should call these people “smart” who know how to make something out of any situation or simply people who have no conscience left and are ready to make money out of any situation. Depends mostly on whether you think it is ethical or not.

I was further discussing with this Smarty that although I don’t disrespect him for doing that, I personally feel it is unethical and would never do it. Different people can have different principles and morals standards. What is fine for one person could be wrong for other. Depends on your circumstances and situations you faced in life.

For example, if you find some money lying on the road and no one is coming to pick it, you may think you are lucky and just pocket it, OR leave it there thinking it is not yours and should not take it OR take it but donate it somewhere coz leaving it there may land it into someone else’s pocket who thinks he is lucky and so instead use it for good cause. OK this example does not relate or is no where closer to the two incidents above but just to demonstrate different people may have different morals.

In both of the above cases the only party that was wronged was the company they worked for and the amount of referral money may be trifling for the company. But I was still trying to justify to this Smarty why I thought it was wrong. So I asked him if he would do it knowing that if someone found out about it, he/she would definitely bring it to HR’s attention. Mr. Smarty thought for sometime and said that, if that was the case he would check the rules of the company first. Then why didn’t he bother to check it before? Now isn’t this same as you wouldn’t mind doing any crime as long as you are 100 percent sure you wont get caught, but if there is a smallest possibility of anything going wrong you would refrain from doing it? I don’t know where I am getting at by rambling about all this. It doesn’t affect me directly. Yet I feel bothered by seeing someone doing things that don’t fit in my moral standards. You’ll never know when everyone around you starts resorting to such means and the only alternative left for you to survive in this rat race is by adopting the same approach.

This same smarty gave one more example. One of his friend (lets call him A) was seeking a job in company C where another friend of Smarty (lets call him B) worked. A asked Smarty if he knew anyone in company C who could refer his resume. Now A didn’t really need someone to refer him, he could have posted his resume against the job opening on the company’s site, but he was just seeking to make some buck out of this situation. So Smarty introduced both of them and B referred A in his company and got some referral bonus when A was selected. But surprisingly B shared that with A and with Smarty. These people have just turned this into some quick money making business. And they don’t find anything wrong in it. All parties are perfectly fine. So in this case A instead of being just thankful that he got the job thinks he was smart enough to land the opportunity and tries to milk his share out of B’s gain. B on the other hand thinks instead of letting A fend on his own let me help him by referring him and get something myself out of the situation. Coz referrals by employees stand better chance of getting selected than regular job applications. Mr. Smarty on the other hand finds it perfectly alright to milk his share out of this since he played the middleman, coz if it was not for him none of A or B would have got anything. Playing a go-between person in business and getting commission for that is OK but turning a simple referral scheme into money making business is simply beyond my comprehension.

But wait Mr. Smarty is not Mr. Smarty for just this. It seems there is a scheme run by some cellphone service providers, that if you refer a friend, you can both make 25 dollars each. But it should be done within one month of the start of new subscription. Now Mr. Smarty is has made over 200 bucks like this, referring subscriber after subscriber. And may be the service provider might be OK with all this as long as they are getting new subscriptions. Maybe they had this calculated before introducing the scheme. But it is remarkable that people are using it to their advantage. Now some people would not bother to hunt down friends or acquaintances starting new subscription just to earn 25 dollars. But people like Mr. Smarty are doing it and find nothing wrong in it.

This has become a really long ramble. But these and many such instances that I come across make me wonder if there is just no limit to what this opportunistic society may turn into a money making business. Some may think turning into Mr. Smarty is the need of the hour and some may just adhere to their standards till forced to let go. Where and when we fail our own resolve will just indicate our level of fortitude.